Thursday, May 15, 2008

An Oscar Winner! (in an alternate universe)

I was planning on posting some GD today... but I might hold off until Friday morning. I'm just so dead right now. I worked 12 [hours] yesterday and have today off. Last night only like 2 hours of sleep. What's up with that?! So I'm actually gonna be sleeping much of the day today. Funny thing in Alaska at this time of the year -- sleeping most of the day doesn't mean I'm gonna miss much of the daylight. Seein' as how I think it's beginning to get light out around 3:30 in the morning, and the last light leaves the sky around 11:30 p.m. or so, there's plenty of it to go around. That's freakin' cool ain't it? Yes... agree... it is! No more Northern Lights, though. They're sleeping. Hibernating. Back in the Fall.

Today all I wanna do is go for a run. But that ain't gonna happen. My mind says go, go, go, do it! My thighs are arguing against that in the biggest way. Quads are still sore from my last run and the last thing I wanna do is make the situation worse... so I rest. There was no rest at work, however. Not working in an office, mostly stationary, means I've gotta move, I've gotta bend, I've gotta lift, I've gotta be up and down and all around... Physical just like Olivia Newton-John, right?! So every movement yesterday, I just had to suck it up and focus on my job without complaining. Now... I rest. Hopefully my house won't catch fire... not that I expect it might, but if it did, I'm just gonna sit here, say a prayer, and kiss my ass buh bye 'cause I ain't movin!

I did have to move around some this morning when I made a breakfast

of pocorn to go with the movie I just got done watching... mmmmm,
goooood popcorn! But bad movie! I've almost sunk to a new low with this one...

On The Line (2001) movie poster, starring Emmanuelle Chriqui

On The Line

Emmanuelle Chriqui, Dave Foley,
Jerry Stiller,
Richie Sambora, Al Green,
Sammy Sosa, Wrigley Field...
and no one else
of any importance


POPCORN SMILEYBeing the enormous *NSYNC fan that I am, it surprises me that it's taken me so long to see this masterpiece. I'm just not sure what I was thinking.

Lance Bass stars... excuse me a second... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that's just funny. Why do you take someone who's not an accomplished actor and give him the leading man-starring role in a $10 million dollar feature film? He may have had "talent" singing in a boy band, along with co-star Joey Fatone, but come on... seriously!?

Anyway, Lance and Joey are, surprise, friends and one day Lance's character (Kevin) meets the cutest girl on the L (no name until the end played by Emmanuelle Chriqui.) They enjoy talking, they have a really good time and she clearly wants to get to know him, but as they depart, he never asks for her phone number D'OH! But since she was already with someone, would she even have given it to him?!?

So dillhole goes about his life then one day decides he's gonna find her. And then, after that plan fails, he tries again to look for the cute train girl.

Along the way we get to see Joey Fatone singing hard rock songs including covers of tunes by Poison and Def Leppard... and then at the end he goes soft and turns into Michael Bolton? Uhhh... whatever. He was actually kind of funny in his role... but overall, that's not saying much.

I dig movies with Chi-town locations so seeing Wrigley Field and some
sites in Chicago was nice.

Kids In The Hall/NewsRadio's Dave Foley is Kevin's boss at an advertising firm. He was kinda funny but when isn't he good? George Costanza's dad/Doug Heffernan's dad-in-law Jerry Stiller also has a small role as an office worker who Kevin is friends with and gets inspiration from.
And Bon Jovi's Richie Sambora has a small role as an aging, full-of-himself rock star named "The Mick." Al Green and Sammy Sosa both play themselves, as does Baseball Tonight's Eric Young.

$10 Million to make -- $4.35 Million at the Box Office.
Miramax -- what were you thinking?!?!?!

According to Roger Ebert, On The Line is " agonizingly creaky movie that laboriously plods through a plot so contrived that the only thing real about it is its length."

While I laughed a lot -- at the writing, directing, and acting -- it wasn't as bad as Rog says there. Contrived plot? Absolutely. But I never really felt watching it was agonizing. I mean, there are movies that literally make me cringe in horror at how bad it is but that didn't happen here. That might be because of Emmanuelle Chriqui. She's wayyyy cute! Sometimes that's a good enough reason to watch something that's pure crap such as this or the one other film I've seen her in -- National Lampoon's something-or-other that takes place in L.A. with college kids, maybe, and potheads and stars Chriqui along with Michael Douglas's older son and I think a small part with Rob Lowe as a serial killer. Horrible movie but I couldn't take my eyes off Chriqui. She wasn't in this one so much but again, her presence made this worth watching. If it hadn't been for that, there wouldn't be a single reason in the world to watch this. Come on, Lance Bass?!!? He's got NO range and just doesn't have a good leading man presence... at all.

While this doesn't qualify for Worst Movies Ever, I thought about it... it's close. Why'd I watch it? I believe in giving most movies a fair shake. Sometimes you might be surprised. On The Line did surprise me -- I'm surprised that it was slightly better than Worst Ever.

The one and only time I will ever have a post with
Lance Bass and Joey Fatone. Never ever again.

That being said -- here's Emmanuelle Chriqui
in the scene where they meet for the first time.

1 comment:

Sugarmag said...

Hey Chris, Sounds like you need some rest. I hope you got some sleep. I know what you mean about movies, sometimes movies that are pretty bad are still fun to watch.

one says one number and the other another
but they were set at the same time. Hmmm...

Calvin and Hobbes in the snow -- animated