I was able to Endure, now i'm Damaged... am i Crazy?!
I've got nothin'. Or do I? It often seems like I have nothing of importance to say but when I get going, something comes out...
I'm beat.
And I'm down because I pay a lot of attention to the news. STILL, in the midst of the cyclone aftermath in Burma/Myanmar, the "government" there is showing less than very serious concern for victims. People are starving. People need medical care. No urgent need, thinks the leaders of that nation.
And then, my God, the earthquake in Communist China. If any consolation can be had it's from the fact that everything possible is probably being done for the victims of that tragedy. I hate to commend the Chinese government, who strips their citizens of what should be basic human rights, but they're working their butts off and truly mobilizing in huge and quick ways to help. Maybe, hopefully, someday they'll realize they need to have stricter building codes in earthquake-prone regions and then less people will die. Unless a 7.9 hits New York City, so many people would not die in the United States in such an earthquake. In the eyes of so many, we're such a horrible country... yet at the same time so advanced while the rest of the world lags behind and lets their citizens die in massive numbers.
It's just all so damn sad. I hate to post about such horror in the world... but it's important. And since I don't go about my life spreading that haze of sadness post in and post out and everywhere I go and to everyone I come in contact with, a little now and then does emerge from these fingers. Helps to get it out of me.
Had been a decent day until I changed the channel from ESPN (to real news) and until I started to read some news sites. No work today so I got errands done, laundry done, and then I killed myself with a run. Literally. I'm dead with no Dead pun intended. Dead i.e. deceased. I'm now a ghost.
Well... that's what it feels like. No, it just feels like I'm dead, totally wiped out dead. Time to recover.
 | 58°, sunny, had my Spring debut yesterday... but it still feels so good to be back outside! |
| Tuesday early afternoon Run: 20 minutes 22 sec | +3 sec |
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A wicked hard time with running today. Holy friggin' couch potato, Doogie Howser. I feel like quitting. Forever... and just sitting on the couch to watch TV from now until I'm 420 pounds.
Running indoors ROCKS. Why? No bear tracks and No chance of being attacked by a bear. Let's add onto that hell the fact that I ran through 20 minutes of thinking: "Just quit, stop, turn around, quit, you don't need to do this, quit, this is stoooopid, your legs HURT LIKE CRAP, quit, now, quit... etc." Yeah, that was fun. Music? What music? All I heard was that bull in my head while on and off I attacked it with a volley of: "STOP WITH THOSE THOUGHTS -- RUN -- YOU... CAN ...FINISH... THIS!!!"
Worst run all year... I think. Definitely my worst run in recent memory. Reason: the surface of the trail is different from the indoor track I've been so used to. Yesterday my run completely kicked my ass but I didn't fully know it until today... my quads were aching like a motherf.... but I wanted to push myself, I wanted to git 'er donnnne... I don't know why... I'm not trying to impress anyone... I just don't know... I guess because I'm not one to take it easy anymore... like I said, I wanna push myself. I did.
Twenty minutes down the trail and the walk back felt like 2 days long. When I got in my front door and into the shower I sat down and stayed there for over 20 minutes... I didn't wanna get out... but the darn water turned cold so it was either get out or get hypothermia... I chose the first one.
Now... I rest... and have a brief love affair with Advil.
 Running tunes camefrom the album of the day... | ||
![The Best Of Plumb [CD cover] (2003)](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3210/2488638463_8f84206ed9_o.jpg) | Plumb The Best Of 2003 | |
| Here With Me Sobering Stranded Endure Late Great Planet Earth Who Am I? Phobic Crazy Damaged Concrete God-Shaped Hole Pennyless Endure (Remix) Who Am I? (Remix) Crazy (Remix) | ||
I really dig this stuff. Tiffany Arbuckle Lee has a great voice and every song here has a cool "alternative" sound to it that I like. And while this is "Christian" music, there might not be a single utterance of the name God or Christ anywhere within the lyrics here. What that means is this doesn't cater to those who want in your face praise and worship while it does have mass appeal to those who want praise and worship without being so churchy preachy. I'm sure a lot of people listening to this might never make the connection.
Anyway -- here's some reading and reviews and some videos for Plumb from Jesus freak Hideout and Christianity Today.
not today. no video
filed under...
: music,
: music: Christian,
# running,
^ Plumb
3 comments:
You are not crazy and I can totally relate to wanting to sit on the couch and get real fat. You know what? Getting fat feels awful. I have been there done that, you should have seen me after graduate school. I was never over two hundred pounds, but I was heavy and it felt like shit.
You deserve a lot of credit for what you accomplished today. You did it! I am so proud of you, Chris. I really hope that it doesn't annoy you or feel patronizing when I say that. You rock!
I want to tell you one more thing. I think you say the word stupid too much. Running is not stupid and neither are you. You set goals for yourself and sometimes you don't meet your goals, but you keep trying and I respect that. I hope you feel better soon. Take care.
Its a testament to your will that you didn't turn around, quit, and go home. You're gonna need that when you hit the AT. And so much more than you needed it on that run, of that you can be assured. It's that, "I want to but I just can't" attitude that will get you to Katahdin.
Hey, Sam, probably not until '09->'10 but I'll actually be hiking it backwards, sort of, top to bottom, all through Fall & Winter... so I won't have that feeling that many do of pushing themselves to Katahdin... but just flip that and after I get through the beautifully crisp New England Autumn, I'll still need that attitude to get me through the cold & snow all those miles and months to the end of the line in northern Georgia.
Thanks for makin me think of the AT again. My dog's health is really pretty good in his old age so my mind's been off the trail. It's kinda horrible and sad to say but my hike can only really happen when he's no longer around... and right now, while he's got arthritis, he's still a happy pupper so I'll wait. I still really oughta get my guidebooks back out and get back to puttin together a game play for that sucker!
And hey you Sugar Mag! Thanks for reading about my running. For so long I wondered if those middle section paragraphs about my runs were getting read by anyone. Maybe many, many, many did not... not that it mattered anyway or else I would've stopped with them long ago. And no, I don't feel annoyed or patronized by what you said... thanks for the interest and kind words and encouragement... all nice to read :)
Ultimately, aside from having better health from running, I'd like to use running, if I'm able to, to raise money for charity as well as inspire others to be healthier. Any encouragement there is can only be an aid in the whole grand scheme of things so thank you once again! You rock, Sugar Mag!
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