Monday, January 12, 2009

Sugarmag's Bitch and Moan...What I Dislike About Facebook

Hey now it's me, Smag. I miss writing in my old blog so I am going to air my complaints over here from time to time. Nazz Nomad recently wrote a post about his disdain for Facebook, calling it yet another timesuck (#25 in the list of most time sucking sites) and I have to agree, it is an irritating waste of time. Looking up old friends is fun, and it is great to connect with old friends from back in the day, but what really irritates me is that my former spouse beat me to it and most of my old friends are already Facebook friends with him. Of course people can be friends with both of us and I did go through his friend list and sent friend requests to people I found that way, and that's cool, but the more time I spend on Facebook the more I feel that this planet is too small for the both of us. For one thing, we have lots of friends in common and Facebook keeps telling me that my former spouse is a person I may know. Yeah, no shit. Secondly, I can see every comment he makes on the "Wall" or photo of a mutual friend, and he can see mine as well. So I was checking out recent comments from my friends and I noticed that an old friend of mine had commented on a photo that I recognized. I recognized it because it was a picture I took with my camera when I was a teenager. When my ex moved out, he took all of the photo albums including my pictures from when I was a teenager and all of the baby pictures of my daughter (the ones of my son are digital). Now he is posting them in his album on Facebook. What a doosh.

My other complaint is that Facebook has banned photos of breastfeeding. I think for one thing, people are far too prudish in general. They are just breasts, and yes many men are turned on by that and yes, they are lovely, but get over it. Your average Victoria's Secret catalog or Abercrombie and Fitch ad exposes far more flesh than most breastfeeding mothers, who are usually relatively modest. Mothers are more likely to try breastfeeding in the first place if they connect with other mothers who have had positive breastfeeding experiences. The internet is part of our culture and positive images of breastfeeding contribute to a culture that is accepting of breastfeeding in general. The more people see breastfeeding, the more it is accepted as normal, the more mothers are likely to breastfeed successfully and feel good about it. I believe that breastfeeding should be celebrated and so this policy pisses me off to the core.

I also don't like the way Facebook encourages you to send a virtual drink or forward a dumb quiz to every friend. So I wasted my time taking a dumb quiz, that doesn't mean I want to invite everyone else to waste their time in the same way. A virtual drink doesn't do me much good, does it? I enjoy hearing from old friends but getting a thing because someone clicked the box next to my name is pretty meaningless.

What I like about Facebook, though, is that it is really cool to find out how so many people I know are connected. I found out through Facebook that some friends from different times and places in my life know each other. It is pretty cool to see how people are connected and I do enjoy that. I guess my other problem-bumping into my ex, has more to do with what happens when you marry your high school boyfriend. I was 15 when we met, so we have lots of the same friends. It hurts when it feels that some of them are choosing him over me. But you know what? After hearing what we both have to say, some friends have chosen me over him. Most friends seem to be carefully avoiding taking sides or simply don't give a shit about why we broke up. Time for me to thicken my skin a little.

Breastfeeding is beautiful. Check out this video:

La Teta... to give the breast is to give life...


Anonymous said...

all your points about "Timesuck"

are totally right on.

It's nice to reach out, but geez. don't distract me so bad I can't focus on what I need to do today.

Way to sing it Sugarmag!

Paticus said...

I don't get the whole breastfeeding ban thing, but i will admit, i kinda enjoy Facebook.

Sugarmag said...

Hi Anonymous and Paticus, thank you for stopping by and reading what I wrote. And yeah, Paticus, it IS fun to find friends and read that your best friend from high school is...drinking coffee ;).

one says one number and the other another
but they were set at the same time. Hmmm...

Calvin and Hobbes in the snow -- animated