Friday, December 7, 2007

Your shower shoes have fungus on them.


Appetizer
What was the last game you purchased?

Monopoly Junior. Several years ago. Had it all nicely wrapped and ready to put under the tree... then the little girl I bought it for vanished from my life forever. I still have it. It's still wrapped.

Soup
Name something in which you don’t believe.

That it was wrong to militarily remove Saddam Hussein from power. Evil like that should NEVER be appeased... but it was and for way too long.

Here's what I do believe in:

I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good Scotch, long foreplay, show tunes and that the novels of Thomas Pynchon are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe that there oughta be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the "sweet spot", voting every election, soft core pornography, chocolate chip cookies, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve. And I believe in long, slow, deep, wet kisses that last for 7 days.


Salad
If you could choose a celebrity to be your boss, who would you pick?

Celebrity is a word that should cease to have significant meaning in American society. It is completely pathetic that the citizenry of this nation idolizes movie stars and singers and models and hotel chain heiresses. Holding these people up as gods and caring about their personal lives just encourages the paparazzi scum to keep feeding the tabloids with pictures which keeps America wanting more. So sick. It's no wonder Al Qaeda wants us dead. Sometimes you can't blame them!

Main Course
What was a lesson you had to learn the hard way?

That it's probably best to not jump the turnstiles rather than paying for the PATH train fare. Even at 3 in the morning, cops are watching. I'm 100% certain that they just might wanna take you into custody. Not fun, especially if you're held for more than 24 hours when some idiot cop should have just written you a citation and sent you on your way but instead he hauls your ass to jail where you sit and sit and sit and sit while waiting to see a judge, for more than 24 hours you're sittin' there and you could get held so long that you won't get to use your mailorder ticket for the last Grateful Dead show at Madison Square Garden.
Thanks, Port Authority.


Dessert

Describe your idea of the perfect relaxation room.

There isn't one that's perfect because you can't make the world go away, no matter what, it's still gonna be outside the walls that you are hiding behind. To ignore the world would be ignorant.


Bull Durham movie poster

Friday's Feast

8 comments:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Your appetizer is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

I'm with you on celebrities. I don't care for the majority of them. Their egos are huge.

Have a great FF and weekend. :)

Sassy Lucy said...

Your appetizer broke my heart...so sad.
Excellent feast.
Have a good weekend,
Penelope Anne

Zooomabooma said...

I probably shoulda just put "No Comment" 'cause it's not something I ever really talk about, even in so few words. But this morning it came out and even those few words have really brought me down. No matter, December's now a downer anyway, nothin' I can do about it.

texastanya said...

Love your soup and salad.
Great ff.

forgetfulone said...

Could have sworn I read your soup (or heard it somewhere!) Bull Durham. I was so shocked when I read your appetizer. And I agree with you about celebrities!

poor man's nicole richie said...

i feel sad about your appetizer.
the celebretards and politicians are a bunch of circus characters. surpisingly predictable. they never seemed to get tired to amuse or annoy us one way or another.
happy FF!

Mark said...

"Monopoly Junior. 7 years ago. Had it all nicely wrapped and ready to put under the tree... then the little girl I bought it for was killed in a head-on collision just 12 days before Christmas. I still have it. It's still wrapped."

Wow. just wow. Maybe there's another little girl out there who isn't going to get anything this Christmas except...Monopoly Junior.

Just a thought. It might be a good way of honoring the memory of that other little girl.

Zooomabooma said...

That's a nice suggestion, Mark. If the game doesn't become an outdated antique, then perhaps one of these days I'll do that. I wish every kid could have something for Christmas... but even though several years have gone by, I just can't bring myself to let a few certain things go yet.

one says one number and the other another
but they were set at the same time. Hmmm...

 
Calvin and Hobbes in the snow -- animated